11.07.2012

Post-Graduation

April 2013. It seems so far away, but at the same time I feel that I have limited time to enjoy my final college experiences.

At one time I very seriously played with the option of attending graduate school and earning my MSW (Masters in Social Work). Aaron and I weighed the pros and cons, and I just felt that I really wanted to continue to grad school, especially after receiving much support and opinions from friends and family.

However, I have decided not to attend graduate school (at least not right now). Here's why:

I have always wanted to be involved in helping families and married couples through counseling. My family is the source of such comfort, love, and support and I want all people to have that opportunity. I have also learned that a lot of psychological, mental, and emotional disorders and disturbances that plague the earth could be alleviated or nearly eliminated by strengthening families.

There's just one little problem: People like to hear what they want to hear.

I learned this lesson while working at my internship during the summer. 
Another intern in the office received a call from a single-mother who was concerned about her infant's future development. She asked this intern if there are any known effects from not having a father. 
This intern said she would get more information from her superiors and call her back the next day. 
During our department meeting, the intern brought up the question to the rest of the board members and I automatically knew the answer to that question. But I was surprised to hear what they suggested: "Well, children need a father for complete socio-emotional, mental, and psychological development. But, don't tell her that, it will only stress her out. Give her some activities and don't mention the deficits of not having a father."

WHAT?! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I thought that social workers and counselors are there to give facts and solutions, not sugar-coated fluff, that's what friends and family are for ;)

I continued to notice this same trend as mothers called in to hear the results of their child's development. If there was good news, they kept calling. But, once we gave them news of a development delay, many would stop answering our calls because they were no longer interested in hearing what they didn't want to hear.

After my internship I sat down and thought very hard about what I want to do with my life. I scheduled meetings with other social workers/counselors and was discouraged to be supported in my new discovery of humankind.
Couples enter into counseling as a last effort to save their marriage, or so I thought. For many couples, however, it doesn't matter if you tell them that 1/3 of people regret their divorce five years later, or that it will create stress on their children, they will just find another counselor who will tell them "It's better for your children if you divorce." It just makes it a lot easier to make the choice they want at that moment.

Too many people look to counselors and therapists for affirmation, not the truth.

There are many people who genuinely want help and guidance, but I'm not emotionally ready to deal with both kinds of people. Maybe someday, but not right now.

8 comments:

  1. wow that is really surprising! i've always thought being a marriage counselor would be a great job, thinking about how you can help people save their marriages. that's shocking to me!
    so now i'm curious, do you have a plan now? if now is not the time to deal with it, what do you plan to do?

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    1. After speaking with a board member at my internship, she suggested waiting to pick a grad program until after working in a career for a few years. She said it gives you a chance to work in a field before fulling committing to tough graduate school. I really like this idea, and I would like to get a taste of social work before I commit 2 grueling years of my life to it. I enjoyed my internship, but it was emotionally taxing. I would like to explore my other interests and passions before committing to social work.

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  2. I like this post! I thought about going into psychology at one point, so it is nice to hear what you have learned from it! It makes total sense though! I am glad you shared this so that people can know what to expect if they want a career in counseling!

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    1. Thanks Catherine! I am hoping that I don't come across as negative and pessimistic. I just wanted to share some reasons as to why I'm weary of studying social work :) I hope I don't discourage anyone, but I think it's important to know what you're getting in to!

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  3. Aren't you grateful for internships? Without it you might have continued into grad school without ever knowing. It's too bad that social workers and counselors have to tell people what they want to hear rather than the actual facts. Hopefully one day you will be the one that can encourage people to change without having to sugar-coat the truth. :)

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    1. Internship was the best thing I did in college! I learned so much and had so many great experiences :) I think social workers and counselors do a great service to society, we need them! But I just don't think I'm cut out for it because I'm not afraid to tell someone that they should improve their situation and that their current lifestyle carries risks for them and their children... I could go on and on haha but I'm glad you understand! It is such a hard job and I have deep respect for those people that enjoy and excel in this field.

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  4. Oh, Jessica. What a wonderful post. I think it's a great decision. While I LOVED my graduate program and really grew from it, I have at times, not regretted it, but wished that it was either more lucrative or more just for fun. It was difficult and expensive. But I only earned $500 total for teaching a class at the local university. That's $500 for the entire semester! I earned $500 last week doing photography. My attorney friends have just 1 more year of schooling than I do and make a LOT more. I think that as women, we need to choose carefully how we spend our time if we are employed outside the home. It needs to be gainful. I know it sounds shallow and that most people believe you should choose employment based on something you love, but you will also want to be highly compensated for leaving your babies behind. Also, it's difficult to leave things at the office. Social work IS emotionally taxing and it could greatly affect your family. I wish you BEST of luck! April will come before you know it. I can't believe you're married and finishing college already!

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    1. Thank you :) You make some great points! It's so hard for college students because we need to pick what we want to learn and do for the rest of our lives, but we have little or no experience in the world! Although it might be better to go straight through and get a Masters right now, I just don't want to rush my decision. Thank you!

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