Father's Day Gift

Aaron came from a home where children were read to and books were highly valued.

His mom said some of her best memories were laying on the bed with all her kids reading their favorite books. It didn't matter the broad range of ages, they all cuddled up together and listened. Today, Aaron is an avid reader and loves to spend his time reading fantasy and sci-fi, as well as a healthy dose of non-fiction :)

I also came from a home where reading was a favorite parent-child bonding activity. My mom would read the Boxcar Children, Anne of Green Gables, and Little House on the Prairie to me and my siblings.

Aaron and I both loved being read to and want our children to have the same experience.

I really wanted to find an activity that would be reserved just for Aaron and our baby. I first thought of infant massage, but Aaron didn't seem too excited about that. I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier, but reading will be the perfect activity for Aaron to bond with our baby! Especially at night when he is home from work/school and just wants to relax and unwind.

I decided start a collection of children's books as a first Father's Day gift. In preparation I read the book Baby Read-Aloud Basics which outlines the basics of reading to baby from birth on. This got me really excited, plus it gives a list of the best books for babies during different stages of development.

I bought some of Aaron's favorite children's books as well as some books from the list in Read-Aloud Basics. I bought most of the books for under $4 at various consignment stores, and the rest I bought used on Amazon.

I can't say enough good things about reading to your infants and children. It is the foundation for language and reading skills.
Let me repeat that: It is the FOUNDATION of language and reading skills!

Why is reading so important?

• Becoming a good reader is not so much about being able to sound out words as it is the comprehension of words. When you read to a child they are learning the meaning and context of words.
• Books contain words that are not usually used in everyday speech: i.e. "gloomy," "stumble," and "mischief." Being exposed to unfamiliar words helps build a more advanced vocabulary for later reading and language skills.
• Children learn about intonation, grammar, and other speech skills. Especially when read rhymes and rhythmic passages.
• There are many other benefits that I won't mention, but I highly recommend reading Baby Read-Aloud Basics to learn more about the benefits of reading to infants and children.

I started this collection of books for Aaron so that he can create a ritual with our baby, a ritual that not only helps them create a special bond, but helps set a strong foundation for future language and reading skills: One of the best things that any parent can do for their children.

What are some of your favorite children's books? Any suggestions for adding to our collection?

Tweet

Pin It Now!

The Importance of Fathers: Religious Perspective

This is my last post for "Father's Week," and I saved the best for last. 

As an assignment for a class, I memorized the entire "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." I know that there are many readers who are not LDS, but I truly believe that the principles outlined in this wonderful document are applicable to any family, regardless of religious beliefs.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

God, as magnificent as He is, chooses to be called Father. Why? Because this is his most sacred and important role.

Our fathers have the great responsibility of learning from the attributes of our Heavenly Father and being an example of the love He has for us.

I am going to cut this post short and attach this video. This is a clip from the closing speech in the movie Courageous. 

My reason for writing these posts on fathers and fatherhood is to illustrate the important role that they play in our lives. I love my father and my husband. They are great examples of the Christ-like attributes that we should always strive to develop. 

Enjoy the movie and remember to express your love and appreciation to your daddy :)

Tweet

Pin It Now!

The Importance of Fathers: Developmental Perspective

During my parenting class last semester, my professor dedicated a whole week to the role of fatherhood. I found it absolutely fascinating, and I hope you will too.

Father's roles--well, parental roles in general--have changed quite a bit over the past couple centuries. However, there is a constant theme among parents throughout all generations: mothers and fathers interact with their children in different ways. Mothers seem to specialize in nurturing while fathers specialize in play. Although these roles are not exclusive (e.g. mothers play with their children and fathers are nurturing), I'm going to focus on fathers and their role in play.
Despite what you may think, play is extremely important in a child's development. How does play benefit children? Researchers have found that fathers (and play) contribute to child development in the following ways:

1. Cognitive Ability and Academics
• A number of studies have shown that fathers who are involved and are playful with their infants have children with higher IQs and better linguistic capabilities. Researchers hypothesize that fathers challenge children with more advanced language while mothers adapt their speech to the child's level (children need both types of speech for optimum speech development).
• The U.S. Department of Education study found that highly involved biological fathers had children who were 43 percent more likely than other children to earn mostly A grades. Source
• Fathers often push achievement while mothers stress nurturing.
• Children with playful fathers have better intellectual capabilities (problem solving, thinking, etc.)
• Despite what fathers may think, their infants do recognize them; In an experiment consisting of an infant, the infant's father, and a random man, researchers found that when the father and the random man spoke the infant would turn it's head toward it's father, recognizing both his face and voice.
2. Psychological Well-being and Social Behavior
• Fathers who are sensitive and responsive to their infant's needs form a secure attachment with their baby. Numerous studies show that infants who form secure attachments with their parents have better social skills and relationships later in life.
• If you've ever watched a father interact with his child you've noticed that most is spent in stimulating play. 












• From these playful interactions, children learn how to regulate their emotions. For example, when a child and dad are rough-housing the father can teach the child how to control their aggressive impulses and other emotions such as frustration, anger, and disappointment.
• Boys who play with their fathers tend to have less behavioral issues and girls tend to have higher self-esteem.
• Children also gain the majority of their social skills from their fathers. Learning how to play fair with others is a major part of social and psychological development. 
• Overall, children who have healthy relationships with their fathers are less likely to develop stress, anxiety, externalizing behaviors, internalizing behaviors, depression, sexual stereotypes, addictions, and eating disorders--wow, that's a lot!
3. Father and Mother Relationship
• When a father provides emotional support for his wife, he is reducing stress, anxiety, and even depression. This makes it easier for her to provide higher-quality nurturing and emotional availability for their children. The home is a happier place when the mother and father are under less stress.
• Also, a father is responsible for an incomprehensible amount of emotional and economical stability when he provides a steady income for the family. A father can also indirectly affect his children's well-being by making it possible for his wife to have more time at home nurturing the children.

Here's a quote to sum it up: 

"Children with highly involved fathers were characterized by increased cognitive competence, increased empathy, fewer sex-stereotyped beliefs, and a more internal locus of control." Source

How can fathers be more involved and create positive relationships with their children? Here are a few ideas:

• Instead of the mother and children going on outings during the day when the father is at work, reserve special activities for the weekends, or during the evenings when father can participate. The children will begin to understand the importance of family unity when special activities require full attendance of family members.
• Schedule daddy-daughter dates, or father-son outings.
• Dads, take time to bond with your infant. When infants are young it may be hard to find ways to form a relationship, but babies are very sensitive to touch and sound. Infant massage, rocking, singing (or reading books if singing isn't your thing), or even feeding a bottle. This is a crucial time for forming relationships, don't miss out!
• If your wife needs help with chores, ask your children to help you complete it. This has quite a few benefits: happy wife, talking/bonding with child, and child might learn a new skill.
• Father presides over, and directs, family home evening, counsel, and prayer.

Here's another reward for making it through my novel-of-a-post.

Tweet

Pin It Now!

The Importance of Fathers: Personal Perspective

For this post, I'm going to relate some stories from my childhood and how my dad impacted my life. 

When I was young, my dad would take all of us kids out on the trampoline and play "buckin' bronco." He would fasten a belt around his chest and then we would take turns riding on his back and holding on the to the belt. We even graduated to higher levels: two hands, one hand, low bounces, high bounces, turning, etc. We couldn't wait until dad came home and played with us.

Another game that we loved to play was "cops and robbers." The farm was perfect for this game. We would divide ourselves into two groups, cops and robbers. The robbers would start at the end of our property in a silage pit (we called it the Grand Canyon) and make their way to the barn. The cops would guard the barn and tag the robbers. Once you were tagged you became a cop, and once all the robbers were tagged the game was over. If a robber made it to the barn without being tagged, they won!

My dad faithfully opened doors for me throughout my whole life. I remember going on a date at BYU-Idaho and was flabbergasted when my date didn't open my doors. It was a whole new experience for me, and it made me realize the huge impact that my dad on my view of chivalry.

During high school I was in choir and the occasional musical. Musical practices started early in the morning (7am), and my dad would get up at 6:30 to turn my car on so that it was warm and defrosted by the time I left for school.

My dad would always comment on a new outfit or my hairstyle. I appreciated his willingness to notice things that I was interested in. 

As a teenager, I rarely felt the need to seek acceptance and male attention from my peers; my dad and brothers gave me plenty of love and compliments at home, which gave me confidence and feelings of self-worth as a woman.

During college, my dad would send me short and simple texts letting me know that he loved me.

All of these experiences have had a positive impact on my life, but I feel that the most lasting effect is that I knew what to look for in a husband. The positive qualities of my father influenced what I looked for in a spouse and father for my future babies. 

I'd love to hear some memories that you have of your father, so please comment and share one.

Here are some pictures of my mother's father; he was such a fun grandpa!

Tweet

Pin It Now!

This One's for You, Daddy!

While watching the movie Courageous, I started thinking about how important my dad is in my life. Then I looked over at the wonderful man sitting next to me and thought about the huge role he will play in my own children's lives.

Dads are great. I'm so grateful for the strong, healthy relationship that I have with my father and I have decided to dedicate this post to him and Aaron (who will be a father someday).

I know there are many who believe that a father is not essential, and that mothers are better off raising their children alone. There are individuals and studies that suggest a father is actually damaging to the home, and that a single-mother home is the optimum environment for child development.

I'm here to refute the idea that fathers are incompetent, abusive, and unimportant. I believe--and I have research to back me up--that fathers are important and are crucial to a child's emotional, social, and spiritual development.

I'm not saying that single mothers do not do a decent job of raising children; they make the best of what they are given and are blessed for their diligence. My father grew up without his biological father, and his mother did all that she could on her own. My father and all his siblings turned out very well, but my father has acknowledged that he missed out on the qualities of a consistent, loving, and faithful father.

Over the next week I'm going to write a few posts on the importance fathers in a religious, academic, and personal context. I hope that these posts will help you realize the impact that a father has in your life and your children's lives; and for the few men who read this blog, I hope that you will have a better understanding of the influence you have on your children.

For now, here are some funny videos.

Tweet

Pin It Now!