Quiero a Mi Madre

I love my mom.

I didn't actually know how to say that in Spanish; it helps to have a bilingual husband. It makes me look a lot cooler than I really am. 

I digress.

I heard a neat fact today that relates to motherhood; after a mother gives birth to her baby her body is flooded with happy hormones. Not the kind of hormones that you have after eating double chocolate brownies with caramel on top; these hormones actually alter the brain and make the mother fall in love with her child. This kind of love is the epitome of selfless, unconditional, divine love. The mother has just barely met this little person and she would lay down her life in an instant if she needed to.

I almost started crying when I heard this. I thought about my mother and the feeling she must have had when I, and all of my siblings, were born. She went through immense discomfort, inconvenience, and immense pain just so I could receive a body and experience this earth life. Not only did she do this, but she absolutely fell in love with me when I had nothing to give in return. I went through life feeling this love and benefiting from her protection, love, and sacrifices.

When I was just a little kid I learned about the love of Christ and how he suffered and sacrificed for each of us. It was because of my mother's Christ-like love that I was able to have faith in Christ's love for me.

I am so grateful for my mother and her example of Christ's love; I can comprehend that Christ sees me as a person of great worth, someone worth sacrificing for, because I first understood this from my mother. 

Thank you for teaching me about the most important part of the gospel without even preparing a lesson. Thank you for giving me the assurance that no matter what choice I made I always knew you loved me. Thank you for always sacrificing when you received nothing in return. When it came to what was good, better or best for your children, you always chose the best. Thank you for choosing your children over the world.

I may not have said it when I was younger, but I'm saying it now. 

Thank you.

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The Importance of Fathers: Religious Perspective

This is my last post for "Father's Week," and I saved the best for last. 

As an assignment for a class, I memorized the entire "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." I know that there are many readers who are not LDS, but I truly believe that the principles outlined in this wonderful document are applicable to any family, regardless of religious beliefs.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

God, as magnificent as He is, chooses to be called Father. Why? Because this is his most sacred and important role.

Our fathers have the great responsibility of learning from the attributes of our Heavenly Father and being an example of the love He has for us.

I am going to cut this post short and attach this video. This is a clip from the closing speech in the movie Courageous. 

My reason for writing these posts on fathers and fatherhood is to illustrate the important role that they play in our lives. I love my father and my husband. They are great examples of the Christ-like attributes that we should always strive to develop. 

Enjoy the movie and remember to express your love and appreciation to your daddy :)

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The Importance of Fathers: Developmental Perspective

During my parenting class last semester, my professor dedicated a whole week to the role of fatherhood. I found it absolutely fascinating, and I hope you will too.

Father's roles--well, parental roles in general--have changed quite a bit over the past couple centuries. However, there is a constant theme among parents throughout all generations: mothers and fathers interact with their children in different ways. Mothers seem to specialize in nurturing while fathers specialize in play. Although these roles are not exclusive (e.g. mothers play with their children and fathers are nurturing), I'm going to focus on fathers and their role in play.
Despite what you may think, play is extremely important in a child's development. How does play benefit children? Researchers have found that fathers (and play) contribute to child development in the following ways:

1. Cognitive Ability and Academics
• A number of studies have shown that fathers who are involved and are playful with their infants have children with higher IQs and better linguistic capabilities. Researchers hypothesize that fathers challenge children with more advanced language while mothers adapt their speech to the child's level (children need both types of speech for optimum speech development).
• The U.S. Department of Education study found that highly involved biological fathers had children who were 43 percent more likely than other children to earn mostly A grades. Source
• Fathers often push achievement while mothers stress nurturing.
• Children with playful fathers have better intellectual capabilities (problem solving, thinking, etc.)
• Despite what fathers may think, their infants do recognize them; In an experiment consisting of an infant, the infant's father, and a random man, researchers found that when the father and the random man spoke the infant would turn it's head toward it's father, recognizing both his face and voice.
2. Psychological Well-being and Social Behavior
• Fathers who are sensitive and responsive to their infant's needs form a secure attachment with their baby. Numerous studies show that infants who form secure attachments with their parents have better social skills and relationships later in life.
• If you've ever watched a father interact with his child you've noticed that most is spent in stimulating play. 












• From these playful interactions, children learn how to regulate their emotions. For example, when a child and dad are rough-housing the father can teach the child how to control their aggressive impulses and other emotions such as frustration, anger, and disappointment.
• Boys who play with their fathers tend to have less behavioral issues and girls tend to have higher self-esteem.
• Children also gain the majority of their social skills from their fathers. Learning how to play fair with others is a major part of social and psychological development. 
• Overall, children who have healthy relationships with their fathers are less likely to develop stress, anxiety, externalizing behaviors, internalizing behaviors, depression, sexual stereotypes, addictions, and eating disorders--wow, that's a lot!
3. Father and Mother Relationship
• When a father provides emotional support for his wife, he is reducing stress, anxiety, and even depression. This makes it easier for her to provide higher-quality nurturing and emotional availability for their children. The home is a happier place when the mother and father are under less stress.
• Also, a father is responsible for an incomprehensible amount of emotional and economical stability when he provides a steady income for the family. A father can also indirectly affect his children's well-being by making it possible for his wife to have more time at home nurturing the children.

Here's a quote to sum it up: 

"Children with highly involved fathers were characterized by increased cognitive competence, increased empathy, fewer sex-stereotyped beliefs, and a more internal locus of control." Source

How can fathers be more involved and create positive relationships with their children? Here are a few ideas:

• Instead of the mother and children going on outings during the day when the father is at work, reserve special activities for the weekends, or during the evenings when father can participate. The children will begin to understand the importance of family unity when special activities require full attendance of family members.
• Schedule daddy-daughter dates, or father-son outings.
• Dads, take time to bond with your infant. When infants are young it may be hard to find ways to form a relationship, but babies are very sensitive to touch and sound. Infant massage, rocking, singing (or reading books if singing isn't your thing), or even feeding a bottle. This is a crucial time for forming relationships, don't miss out!
• If your wife needs help with chores, ask your children to help you complete it. This has quite a few benefits: happy wife, talking/bonding with child, and child might learn a new skill.
• Father presides over, and directs, family home evening, counsel, and prayer.

Here's another reward for making it through my novel-of-a-post.

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The Importance of Fathers: Personal Perspective

For this post, I'm going to relate some stories from my childhood and how my dad impacted my life. 

When I was young, my dad would take all of us kids out on the trampoline and play "buckin' bronco." He would fasten a belt around his chest and then we would take turns riding on his back and holding on the to the belt. We even graduated to higher levels: two hands, one hand, low bounces, high bounces, turning, etc. We couldn't wait until dad came home and played with us.

Another game that we loved to play was "cops and robbers." The farm was perfect for this game. We would divide ourselves into two groups, cops and robbers. The robbers would start at the end of our property in a silage pit (we called it the Grand Canyon) and make their way to the barn. The cops would guard the barn and tag the robbers. Once you were tagged you became a cop, and once all the robbers were tagged the game was over. If a robber made it to the barn without being tagged, they won!

My dad faithfully opened doors for me throughout my whole life. I remember going on a date at BYU-Idaho and was flabbergasted when my date didn't open my doors. It was a whole new experience for me, and it made me realize the huge impact that my dad on my view of chivalry.

During high school I was in choir and the occasional musical. Musical practices started early in the morning (7am), and my dad would get up at 6:30 to turn my car on so that it was warm and defrosted by the time I left for school.

My dad would always comment on a new outfit or my hairstyle. I appreciated his willingness to notice things that I was interested in. 

As a teenager, I rarely felt the need to seek acceptance and male attention from my peers; my dad and brothers gave me plenty of love and compliments at home, which gave me confidence and feelings of self-worth as a woman.

During college, my dad would send me short and simple texts letting me know that he loved me.

All of these experiences have had a positive impact on my life, but I feel that the most lasting effect is that I knew what to look for in a husband. The positive qualities of my father influenced what I looked for in a spouse and father for my future babies. 

I'd love to hear some memories that you have of your father, so please comment and share one.

Here are some pictures of my mother's father; he was such a fun grandpa!

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This One's for You, Daddy!

While watching the movie Courageous, I started thinking about how important my dad is in my life. Then I looked over at the wonderful man sitting next to me and thought about the huge role he will play in my own children's lives.

Dads are great. I'm so grateful for the strong, healthy relationship that I have with my father and I have decided to dedicate this post to him and Aaron (who will be a father someday).

I know there are many who believe that a father is not essential, and that mothers are better off raising their children alone. There are individuals and studies that suggest a father is actually damaging to the home, and that a single-mother home is the optimum environment for child development.

I'm here to refute the idea that fathers are incompetent, abusive, and unimportant. I believe--and I have research to back me up--that fathers are important and are crucial to a child's emotional, social, and spiritual development.

I'm not saying that single mothers do not do a decent job of raising children; they make the best of what they are given and are blessed for their diligence. My father grew up without his biological father, and his mother did all that she could on her own. My father and all his siblings turned out very well, but my father has acknowledged that he missed out on the qualities of a consistent, loving, and faithful father.

Over the next week I'm going to write a few posts on the importance fathers in a religious, academic, and personal context. I hope that these posts will help you realize the impact that a father has in your life and your children's lives; and for the few men who read this blog, I hope that you will have a better understanding of the influence you have on your children.

For now, here are some funny videos.

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Fetal Origin Theory

Okay, I know that I write a lot about babies, but I can't help it! I hear about them in classes, I read about them in textbooks, and I write about them in papers... It is exhausting.

Anyway, I want to write about my new fetish, the Fetal Origin Theory. I was at the Provo library yesterday, returning a photography book, when a bright blue book entitled Origins practically assaulted me. I picked it up and started reading the description.

Fascinating.

It all started a few weeks ago when I saw a brief preview for the BBC documentary The Nine Months That Made You. This documentary is about the Fetal Origin Theory; a theory which that is based on the idea that the susceptibility toward certain diseases (e.g. diabetes, cardiovascular, etc) are actually determined by your environment in the womb. I wasn't so sure about the validity of the theory, so I never watched it. However, after I started reading Origins I thought I would give the documentary a second chance. I watched it last night and was blown away. I definitely recommend watching it. However, keep in mind it is only a (new) theory, and  research has only been conducted in the last twenty years.

If you are interested in watching the documentary, it is located on youtube. It is in four parts, each is about fifteen minutes. Once you start the first part the other parts will follow automatically in playlist style.

Out of the two, I think the book is better. It answers more questions, has (more) evidence to support it, and the authors writing style is very interesting. The author is a science journalist and has written for The New York Times and Discovery. The book is organized by chapters that are in chronological order (month one, month two, etc), and each chapter is based on studies and evidence found during that month of pregnancy. If you have ever thought about what happens to (and effects) the fetus during the nine months you are pregnant (or what happened while you were being created) you will enjoy this book. I highly recommend it. Like I said, it's just a theory, so I'm not promoting this as a scientific truth, it just gives you something to think about :)

Do I read any books that do not involved babies, children, or families? Yes, sometimes.

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